My best friend's mom passed away when I was 14 years old, and from that day forward I started questioning what the meaning of life was and what my purpose was. I went to many different types of churches, but was never able to find anything to change me from the inside out. I gained knowledge, but no conviction. I always walked away feeling lost and insecure.

I still lived the typical, drama-filled life of a teenager.After graduating from high school, I started trying to make something of my life. I began teaching preschool and I was named Miss Temecula in a pageant. During the day, I was the sweet and innocent schoolteacher, who would go represent the city of Temecula with purity and spirituality. However, behind closed doors my heart was screaming for love and attention, desperate to find something that would make me feel complete. I started partying a lot, getting drunk and hooking up with whoever looked good that night.

One night, at a work Christmas party, a group of us got extremely drunk. Our boss surprised us later that night with tickets to a religious play. I don't remember much about that night, except blacking out and coming to by throwing up inside the church and having to be carried out. After blacking out and waking up the second time, I was in a bathroom, crying hysterically with a bunch of people around me. When I seemed to get my composure back, they all left me sitting on the floor in my mess. I looked up to God and told him I was desperate to be close to him. I asked him to save me from being this person who I didn't want to be anymore.

A few weeks later, I was invited by some family members to visit the Los Angeles International Church of Christ. A few amazing women – specifically, Julie Landi and Tawny Messina – taught me from the Bible how to be a true Christian. These women showed me an unconditional love I had never seen before. They taught me what it took to change from the inside out and how to have a deep and meaningful relationship with God. I learned that Jesus gave his life on the cross to save me from the consequences of my own personal sin, and I learned how to look toward Christ for hope and security. Although I felt relieved, I also felt the struggle of my flesh. I left one night feeling hopeless that I could ever overcome the sin in my life. I wasn't sure if I could live up to God's standard of Christian living.

After a few days of dealing with these things, Julie and Tawny drove down to Temecula and talked with me for three hours in the parking lot of a Starbucks. Their encouragement and support pushed me to find courage and determination to become the person God wanted me to be. A short time after that night, I was baptized – on April 4, 1999. Over the past 9 ½ years that I have been a disciple, I have continued to deal with the scars that my sin has left me. My insecurity at times feels so overwhelming and tends to feel like it’s eating me alive. However, as I shared before, God has become my rock and my salvation. His grace motivates me to fight hard and in turn allows me to have great peace.  I would like to leave you with a Scripture that I feel describes exactly what God did for me:

'For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.' — Colossians 1:13-14

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